His leg bounced nervously as he kept staring at the neon ICU sign in front of him. The familiar grey walls, the stench of sterilizer, and the quiet hum of the oxygen machine cast a soft haze over his senses. He softly closed his eyes as the exhaustion of an entire year caught up with him. It had been a year since she had closed her eyes, a year since in the blink of an eye everything was taken away from him. Days had blurred into months, as he had to watch the love of his life slowly fade away into the quick sands of nothingness. People thought he had it all - a highly accomplished surgeon making a fortune, a charming bachelor who had women falling at his feet, and fame and accolades bowing down to his every desire. But just like the saying “all that glitters is not gold”, everything for which once he had sold his dreams for, was dust and dust alone because he did not have her.

He had met her in the 4th year of his MBBS, it was a strange day. While some of his friends were ragging the freshers, a typical tradition in medical school, he remembered standing behind them, stormy eyes scanning the crowd of youngsters like a hawk. While the rest of the freshmen were thinking about their impending doom, there was one girl who was smiling brighter than ever. Even from a distance, he could feel the warmth of her contagious smile and the twinkling of her green eyes. As he had peered through the chink in the crowd, he had seen her busy tending to a small bird. That time he had scoffed at her childishness and ticked her off as a hopeful first-year who was soon going to be crushed under the academic pressure. But that was not the case, every time he came across her on the campus she glowed like the moon on a dark night, her mellifluous voice and enchanting personality, a small reflection of her radiance. “Why did the gruesome reality leave her unfazed while it shattered him to pieces?” he often wondered. He wanted to be a singer; his guitar was his one true love but he had to give all that up just because his parents refused to accept a singer as their son. Her hope blinded him and reminded him every day of his broken dreams. So he stayed as far away from her as he could.

But alas! Fate had other plans for him, the college campaign on mental health brought him face-to-face with her. This was a learning initiative wherein the fourth-year seniors were required to help their respective first-year counterparts with stress management. He was prepared to completely crush all her rosy dreams and dispel her misconception about medical school. Even after bombarding her with devious facts and stressful routines, her smile had remained intact. After the interview, she had said "I understand what you're trying to accomplish, but being a doctor is the only thing keeping me alive. It is a dream that gives me strength, not one that depletes me. Unlike you, I adore my dream with all my heart, because when you love something, it becomes a part of you." Since that day he couldn’t get her out of his mind and maybe she had also developed a soft spot for the grumpy guy with curly hair. Longing stares turned into loving embraces and sooner than they knew they both were head over heels for each other. She had encouraged him to pick up his guitar, something he had sworn never to do again. Her eyes used to twinkle when he sang and she used to look at him like he was the centre of her universe just like she was the centre of his. She taught him how to live and he anchored her when she was lost. They were like two stars engaged in a cosmic charisma, tied by an invisible string.

The days breezed by, spent in each other's blissful company. He still remembers showing up at her house to drive her to the first day of residency at her dream hospital. She had looked more radiant than ever, with untamed hair, flushed cheeks, and a smile that was like a blinding solar symphony. She had hugged him and told him that finally, all of her dreams were coming true. That was the day he was truly happy. He was overjoyed to drive her to her first residency, but the cruel tricks of fate had intervened, rearranging all he had once treasured. An accidental twist of the handle of his bike had brought his entire world crashing down and forced his beloved to stand at the precipice of life and the beyond.

The chill of that day ran through his veins as his eyes snapped open. Thankfully the doctor examining her came out of the cabin. He stumbled out of his seat as the doctor said, “Her vitals are perfect Rishi, but…”. He looked at the impatient boy pacing back and forth in front of him, barely holding his breath and held back whatever he was going to say. “First, why don’t you go and meet her” and gave him a reassuring pat on his back. He soberly smiled at the doctor and pushed through the double doors of her cabin.

The curtains were drawn open, and bright sunlight filtered through the window as a mellow chirp of birds filled the silence. Rishi took a moment to observe a small nest near her window. When she had been shifted to this room, he had found a small wounded bird on the window sill. Over the days he had seen the bird recover and build a small yet beautiful nest, its recovery, and progress still amused as well as mystified him. His gaze turned towards the sleeping figure, porcelain skin glistening under the sunlight, brown freckles weaving a constellation across the bridge of her nose, and midnight black hair spread all over the stone-cold hospital bed like wild ivy. He slowly and steadily walked towards the figure, to not startle her, and kept fresh sunflowers near her head. They were her favourites. After almost a year of static, she had responded. He had a million things he wanted to say to her. He wanted to say everything he had trapped within himself for the past year. He wanted to kiss her, hug her to his chest, and never let her leave again. Rishi was like a man, parched and hungry stranded in the middle of a desert, hysterical to find an oasis, and now that it was in front of him, he had nothing to say. He just stood beside her and watched the rise and fall of her chest. A peaceful rhythm, he was too scared to disturb. He took a seat next to her head and kept staring at her; it felt like eons had passed but he was still there, right beside her with dust collected over his memories that now seemed to be very distant. People had expected him to move on but they couldn’t understand, she was his pole star, and without her, he was lost. After a few moments, he gathered the courage to clutch her hand, a second passed, then another. He was growing impatient, it had been too long, he was beginning to think that fate had again played a cruel joke on him and it was all a lie, a figment of his imagination, another dead hope when those beautiful lashes fluttered to reveal the most enchanting opal eyes, familiar as ever.

He couldn’t breathe, tears involuntarily rolling down his cheeks. And she? She just stared at him. It was impossible to decipher what story was brewing in her head. After countless hours of slumber and living in an abyss she was finally in the light but she didn’t know what to do with it. This is what happens when you spend too much time in the darkness: you become one with it, it seeps into your very existence and you stop seeking out for light. She blinked and tried to sit up, but he rushed to her aid, and with a gentle hand on her back, he adjusted the bed so that she could sit up. The couple stared at each other for a minute. For Rishi, she was a sight for sore eyes after days of staring at her. Unmoving, seeing her alive in front of him was a novelty. But for her, everything was a scattered puzzle. Months of inactivity had rendered her mind a blank canvas. She wanted to gather the colors and paint a coherent picture but the colors were far beyond her grasp. She extended a hand towards the water cup near the bed, once again he rushed before, she could lift a finger and fetched the water, her fingers shaky, wrapped around the cold glass as she gulped it down. One could understand that her motor skills weren’t as sharp as they should be, which was normal for long-term coma patients. As he gathered the courage to speak, a raspy voice interrupted, “Do you know who I am?”. He was startled, like a gust of wind had knocked down the mountains of hope he had built over the days. He was so focused on basking in her light, that he didn’t want to notice that anything was amiss. Her eyes were unnaturally empty and her question? Who was she? How could she ask that? And what would he tell her? Her name? Her family background? Her dreams and aspirations? Or the fact that for days she had tethered him to the confines of this hospital and had his life in a vice grip. Unblinking, she waited for an answer, while he tried to piece everything together. “You are Pakhi, Pakhi Dutta, do you not remember?” he rumbled with a heavy voice. “No, for hours I have been trying to piece together memories, but nothing…. No matter how deep I go… nothing. I try to remember why am I here, but all I remember is a blinding light and nothing. The doctor said that you would tell me what happened, so do you know?” she whispered in a haze and turned towards the window. Was this another game that destiny was playing with him, after waiting for her to wake up for what felt like an infinity, she did not even remember herself. At this point he did not know whom to blame, the Almighty for taking away the love of his life? himself because she was here partly because of him? or her, for not remembering him when he had spent countless nights at her wake, for trapping him behind these walls of regret.

As for her, she kept staring out the window, at that small bird who was sitting at the window sill. A Pakhi. The name resonated in her mind like an echo in an empty hall, it bounced off the walls and pierced her ears. She stumbled off the bed to catch it but it flew away. A piercing pain stabbed her heart as she fell with a thud. Her legs couldn’t carry her anymore. She kept staring at the empty spot as a dull ache now spread through her entire being. Silent tears fell from her eyes. Rishi took her face in his hands and wiped away her tears but they kept falling relentlessly. She helplessly stared at the window; a want wit emptiness gripping her heart as she mourned. Mourned the loss of what, she did not know. Her identity? Her memories? She had no answers to these questions as she lay her head on his chest and silently wept into his shoulder…